Author:  John Senka

Book: "Wounded Body – Healing Spirit”

Interviewer: W. H. McDonald – President of the MWSA

W. H. "Bill" McDonald: John Senka is the author of the memoir “Wounded Body – Healing Spirit.” He has suffered from PTSD and acute-clinical depression from the war for many years. His story is about the healing of not only his body but his very soul. He lives with his wife on the east coast.

Q: What made you or drove you to share so much of your personal life with all of us? Was there any fear that telling your story would be a cause for concern?

I know we all have problems. They may not all be the same problems, but problems just the same. We have a responsibility as human beings to try to help one another with life’s problems. Mental illness in particular is a taboo subject no one wants to discuss. Yet millions of us suffer from it in one form or another. I talk about it because I can talk about it. I was never fearful that telling my story would be a cause for concern. I am a strong, confident man and perceived to be successful. What I’m saying is if this can happen to me, it can happen to anyone and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Q: How long did the writing process for your book take you? What processes did you use to actually write it? Was this something that you slowly wrote over the years or did you sit down and write until it was done?

It took me 3 ½ years to write my book. I started one snowy day in my office. I did it all in longhand. I wrote only when I felt like writing. I might write for a week straight, then put it away for a month. Eventually I had copies typed and put on disc. I probably rewrote the book a dozen times. My daughter read the original manuscript and provided constructive suggestions as did my publisher.

Q: Was writing this story of your life a self-healing process? Did you allow yourself to look back and focus anew on events and people in your life? Are you the better for having shared the story?

Writing the book was indeed a self-healing process. It gave me the opportunity to look back and focus on events and people. As with all lives it was not all positive. There were people and events I would have liked to have omitted but they were part of my life. To have not included them in the book would not have been honest and the term most widely used to describe my book is “Brutally Honest.” Yes, I am better for having shared my story; it took courage to do so but has helped so many.

Q: You have given talks across the country on your book and life story. What kind of reaction and reception have you gotten when you exposed your own short comings for everyone to see? Have you found others who come out to say that your story sounds like their own?

The reaction to my book has been beyond my wildest dreams. The people who “knew me” discovered they did not know me at all. I never realized there were friends and associates who never knew I was in the military. I never realized myself that I had not talked about this part of my life. Most veterans wrote me, or called and said your book could have been about me. I said it is about you; that’s what binds us together – we shared a common experience that the rest of society does not understand.

Q: Has your story in any way, helped other families to deal with the issues that you bring up in your book—like PTSD and having a son who is gay?

Of course. I suffered with PTSD (still do) and depression and have a son who is gay. So what? We all have problems. When readers share their stories with me I think ‘Wow! I’m glad I don’t have their cross to bear.’ There are worse physical and mental illnesses that people suffer with. As for Jeff, he is a good boy, cares about people, is kind. A person’s sexuality is just a small part of who a person is. I see parents with children who are in prison for murder, rape, etc., are living on the street as addicts or prostitutes and think, ‘I’ll take gay any day.'

Q: How hard was it for you to learn about your son being gay? Was this easy for you to accept? How did your extended family and friends react? How has your son taken to being exposed publicly in your book —was he angry or accepting to having his story added to your book?

Initially it was hard, but not for the reasons you might think. I felt badly that he had to live in a society that might not be accepting, tolerant and could be hurtful to him. Both my wife and I were accepting as were all our children. Jeff is Jeff, he’s always been “different,” he’s an artist. We’ve always been proud of the kind, caring person he is. Our friends all know and love Jeff and have been accepting and supportive. The only problems came from “Bible Toting Fundamentalists” friends or family members. To me, it is so hypocritical how they can spout scripture but are not accepting of those that are different. We are all God’s children. Before the book was published, all of my children and my wife read it. Had anyone objected, the book would not have been published. Jeff had no problem with the exposure. At age 18, he “came out.” He is proud of who he is. He does not flaunt his gayness, he just wishes to live a simple life; work in his chosen career, have a home and a loving relationship with a life partner.

Q: From your business and personal life, not many people would have guessed that you were suffering PTSD or even depressed. How long did you hide this from everyone including yourself? When did you begin to realize that you had a problem?

My first bout with depression was classified SEVERE. One day I was fine, the next I couldn’t get out of bed. I knew I had a problem IMMEDIATELY. I did not hide it from family or my co-workers. Many close friends knew but the general public including clients did not. I forced myself to work but could not function. It was only because of a caring staff did my business survive. Most people did not know; I was the last person anyone would suspect had this problem. I had 2 additional episodes of depression, one classified SERIOUS, the other MILD. By then the book had come out and I would tell people I was in depression so they could understand why I acted as I did. It made it much easier.

Q: Have you thought about a follow-up book on what you have learned since you have written this wonderful and most helpful memoir of yours?

I’ve not given serious thought to another book. If I did, it would be a book about all the wonderful letters and calls I received and perhaps share some of the readers reactions to my book as well as their own stories. I also thought about writing a children’s book explaining diversity, particularly gay and racial or religious issues.

Q: Are you still doing public speaking about PTSD, the war, depression and other issues? Have you plans to do more?

I have done a considerable amount of public speaking on my book and the issues in the book. It’s been the “icing on the cake” meeting new friends as well as old; hearing their stories and helping others. I’ve spoken at libraries, colleges, church groups, service organizations. The audience response has been wonderful.

Q: How is your health doing?

My health is fine. I was on drugs for blood pressure for 30 years and am off them. I have agent orange related diabetes which I control with meds, diet, exercise. Mentally, I’m doing ok. It’s been 18 months since I suffered mild depression. I understand life will never be perfect and that I’m not in control. I’ve learned to simplify my life, I believe I’m much nicer to be around. I still worry about others and must learn to LET GO & LET GOD.

Q: How has your own spiritual outlook on life changed this past decade as you have come to grips with your inner demons and ghosts? Do you feel more in control or at least more at peace with your life now?

I covered some of this in response to your last question. I can honestly say I have come to grips with past demons and indeed am more at peace with my life now. I am more spiritual and read extensively on the subject. I am closer to God and nature.

Q: What was your biggest lesson that you learned from all that has happened to you in your life? Is there any wisdom that you can share that might help others?

There are several lessons I’ve learned from my challenges and experiences in life, they are stated in my 13 principles.

Q: Looking back on your service in Nam, would you do it all over again?

A very difficult question, one I’ve asked myself many times. I am proud that I served my country, I’m grateful for the bonds made with my Vietnam Brothers, the Vietnam experience defined the man I became. However, it caused me much turmoil and pain. Had I not gone to Vietnam my wife and children would not have had to suffer. I regret that they had to suffer from that war, so perhaps I would not have gone had I known what I do now.

Q: What goals do you have for yourself for the next decade of your life? What would you like to achieve?

My goal for the next 10 years and for the balance of my life is to find peace, learn to LET GO & LET GOD. To relax, enjoy my children and grandchildren. To help others in any way I can. To simplify life. To strengthen my relationship with my higher being who I call God.

Q: Do you have any advice for those who are still dealing with the effects of PTSD from any war or personal experiences in their lives? How does one even recognize that they might have a problem - let alone find help? Whatever advice you can share will be appreciated?

My advice to anyone dealing with the effects of PTSD is to get professional help. You are not dealing with a character weakness or personality flaw. This is a real illness and it hurts not only you but those around you. If your life is in turmoil, if you hurt the ones you love most then are remorseful, you may be suffering from PTSD. The fact that you feel you may have a problem is reason enough to get help. We can’t do anything about the past, but we can change the future. Get help, get in control so you can enjoy your remaining years in peace.

Q: Is there anything that you would like to say or add to this interview that you would like to comment on or share with us?

With sincere humility, I must say, “Wounded Body – Healing Spirit” is a good book. It was only after the feedback that I got from readers that I truly believed it myself. The book is an easy read, folks can relate to it, not just Vets; regular people with regular problems. The book heals. I no longer take credit for it, I am not smart enough to have written it – the credit goes to my higher being whom I call God. It is my hope that someone of prominence, an Oprah, Montel, Larry King will read this book. This is the only way it will get the attention is deserves. I do not seek personal gain but want the book to reach as many readers as possible; particularly returning Middle East Veterans and their families. I know it will help heal them.

Q: Any advice for new writers trying to put their memoirs together?

Everyone says they are going to write a book; very few ever do. Just do it.

Bill: John, thanks for taking the time and sharing so much with us. Best wishes and God bless you.